Psychological Emotional Abuse

Elderly 'unwilling to report abuse'

The cross-border study, the first of its kind in Ireland, questioned pensioners who ranked psychological, mental and emotional abuse the most damaging.

Pensioners dependent on others because of physical or mental difficulties were most at risk of abuse, with participants in the study believing elder abuse to be most likely to take place in the home.

Age Action Ireland said policies tackling abuse should focus more on empowering older people.

Some 58 people in focus groups across the country were asked questions as part of the 'A Total Indifference to our Dignity' - Older People's Understanding of Elder Abuse' study, including their understanding of elder abuse, forms of abuse, why people experience abuse and how to prevent it.

It found elderly people believed the biggest threat to their well-being was the deterioration of their health, either physical or mental.

Those who took part in the study believed they were highly susceptible to losing control over their future if they required care, with all speaking of their dread at having to go into a nursing home.

Participants said they believed elder abuse was most likely to take place in the home.

But with nursing home care being the only alternative to family care, some participants said they would be reluctant to tell anyone about mistreatment for fear they could be taken into care.

Fear of the consequences of reporting an abuser was also raised by those interviewed while those from Northern Ireland in particular felt it was not helpful to bring in outside agencies like the police or social services.

The psychological/emotional abuse is affecting my health ...

I am going through the exact phases of emotional abuse from my husband as well as my in laws. I have been a dentist and working when I got married, but now for three years, I have not even stepped out of the house. I cannot even go to get my basic things, or to have a small facial, pedicure or manicure done, so that I can look attractive to my husband. When I get dressed up, my husband is very critical, or disapproves. My mother in law constantly criticizes everything I do. She fills my husband with stories, which result in him humiliating me, not talking to me, or insulting me in front of others. She screams for no apparent reason, calls me humiliating names in front of the maids, relatives or any one she comes accross with.

My husband does not work, and I have been handing him out money by borrowing from my parents. He never tells me where he uses it, and when I ask him, he says you are no one to ask what I do with the money or where I go, recently, I have started seeing him more and more on the phone and texting messages, which he later deletes. He calls me stupid, and he and his mother question every little decision that I take for my one year old son. They would start insulting me, saying that my husband should get remarried, and insult me so that I do as they want.

I am a very tolerant person, and I have learnt from my parents that I should treat his parents like my own. But my husband is very rude towards my parents. He does not let me visit them, since I live in another city from my parents. He is cosntantly asking where I spend the money, which he gives me. But it is very very little amount, and I am never able to get any thing for myself. He is not working, and does not seem to be interested in doing either. He simply starts whining after five or six months that he needs money to pay off his credit cards. I get the money for him. He never clears his credit cardds and does not tell me where he used it. He spends very little time at home, and even little time with me. Whenever we are getting along somewhat, his mother stirs up some stupid and insignificant issue and raises so many complaints that we end up fighting. She uses very improper and dirty language, and insults me about my education, and my family.

I am 90% sure that I want to leave him, because now I am constantly ill, I am having high blood pressure  and now I am having panic attacks. I work around the house all day, while all the housemembers leave for their errands, with me staying alone with my baby in the house, all day. I cannot take this anymore. Please tell me am I correct to take such a decision, when he does not support me or my son, is abusive towards me, does not spend time with me, never returns my money, and his family members being very rude to me.

Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse

Clinical Handbook of Pastoral Counseling

Identifying emotional and psychological abuse, a guide for childcare professionals

Crime and elder abuse, an integrated perspective

Psychological abstracts